We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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