I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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