No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
