Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
soo... how was my night?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
