if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
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There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize