You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
