Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
