I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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