after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize