i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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