Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
