YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
