I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
