How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
