HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i need some magic done to my vagina
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.