he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
