New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
