one two three fourrrrnication!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i came on her dog
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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