I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Its about making memories worth repressing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
