I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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