oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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