She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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