Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
