he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We have started to decorate penises.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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