I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize