I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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