i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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