She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
