I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
