I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
