Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
