i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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