I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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