I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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