My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize