Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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