ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
