I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
