bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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