I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
