Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
