The maid of honor just puked.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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