i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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