My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
