hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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