Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
