omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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