I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
