Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
