Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
