I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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