Kiss
Puke
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
