Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
