he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
