hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
