remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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