I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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