malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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