What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
