I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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