dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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