I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
