I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
