I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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