fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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