I'm lost and stupid without you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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