omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
