my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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