Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
