no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize