I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
