i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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