Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she looked like the before picture.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
