Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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